I’d been in touch with Neesha since last August. She reached out to me as she began her second trimester, excited for their number FIVE, “tie-breaker” baby. A few weeks later we learned she would be having her third boy…coming in February! We emailed back and forth for the remainder of her pregnancy. Neesha had warned me that one of her babies had come 2 weeks before her due date, one had come ON its due date, and the other two had come shortly after their due dates. While I was out in Idaho, I started to get worried that number five was going to come early, so I made sure to set up a back up photographer until I got home (thanks, Laura!!!). I was relieved to make it back to Maryland without her going into labor! In the coming two weeks, I was on call – my phone never left my side, and I was always prepared with a charged camera battery and spare memory card. One morning I groggily checked my phone to see what time it was, and was positively terrified to see that it had died at some point in the middle of the night! I frantically jumped out of bed, plugged my phone in, and had a panic attack as I waited for it to boot up. I didn’t take a breath until I had emailed Neesha and double-checked she was still pregnant 🙂 She WAS still pregnant…but she also wrote back that things had started to happen! For the next few days, Neesha’s contractions sped up…only to slow back down. She would have contractions for hours at a time, only to feel them slowly fade, and eventually stop.

One morning I woke up and felt the need to text Neesha and tell her that I had a shoot in DC that evening, just to keep her aware. I pushed that prompting away, and convinced myself that she didn’t need to be bothered just yet. It wasn’t until I was sitting at Starbucks that afternoon – in the middle of downtown DC – waiting for my session to begin, that I found out the reason I had felt inspired to text Neesha that morning. She was definitely in labor, and things felt different. She didn’t feel quite right. I quickly texted my couple in DC to ask them to meet up with me a bit sooner (they did – and it was gorgeous.) Then I pushed through DC traffic with the pedal to the metal, imaging myself bursting through the hospital doors and sprinting down the hallways, only to arrive at Neesha’s room with a baby already in her arms.

Well, luckily for me, Baby Boy was still quite comfy, safe inside Mama, when I arrived. And there he stayed for the rest of the night, too!

Neesha had told me very early on that she was hoping for an un-medicated delivery in the hospital. No pitocin, no epidural. She knew this was her last baby, and she wanted to experience everything to its fullest extent, with no interventions. When I first got into her hospital room, she told me she would welcome any and all encouragement that I could offer throughout the course of her labor, that she was not the type of woman who labored alone or pushed away help during contractions. That she had, in fact, written down on two small pieces of paper the things she wanted said and done to her while in labor to help her cope. I was happy to know her hopes, and promised to be whatever she needed me to be, while also juggling my camera 🙂

We did a lot of hallway-walking and slow feet-shuffling, as Neesha’s contractions were strongest when she up and moving. I wasn’t really sure of my role up until this point – I didn’t want to overstep Rob’s role as Neesha’s husband, but I also wanted to offer help when and where it was needed. So when I saw Rob dig into his pocket and pull out two small pieces of paper – paper with Neesha’s handwriting on it – it was then that I knew – he was inviting me to help.

After lots of walking, lots of shuffling, and lots of contractions…and lots of hours, everyone was tired. It was the middle of the night, and Neesha and Rob had both been awake since early that morning. We decided to have Neesha take a break from walking, and allow her body a bit of a break, as the contractions seemed to slow down when she was lying down. The next few images are some of my absolute favorite from the entire night – it was dark, and the only light available to me was the light coming from the tv. I cranked up my ISO, which means my images are a bit grainier. But the grain kind of makes me melt – it brings me right back to that moment in time. The quiet of the night, the waiting, the waves of pain, the purpose and love behind it all.

Shortly after this, I left to go get some food as the cafeteria had finally opened for the morning.
When I got back, I knew her break was over – and I knew rest wouldn’t return until after this baby had come out.
She was asking for an epidural – and fighting it at the same time. I knew it wasn’t what she wanted – I knew this was transition. I convinced her to have a cervical check before getting the epidural, in hopes that she would be far enough along to show her she was so close – too close to give up now.

It worked.

And on we dredged, though it got thicker and deeper and steeper. Every contraction that came, she would say, “We’re gonna do another one.”

And it was that word, the use of “we” that pushed us all into the end. We did it together, one at a time.
“One. Just one. Just this one.” We would all chant.

….Yet, it was never me. It was never Rob, either. It was always Neesha. Neesha and her baby – the “we” in this were merely supporters, on-lookers, cheerleaders.

I love this photo – I could only step away for one minute to take this shot before she needed me back at her side. I don’t know how, but she looks so peaceful in this shot. You can tell she is totally in a different world. This is the point that she had to go within herself, lifted up and out of her body. This phase didn’t last long, but I knew it meant the end was near…

I was among the first human on this planet to meet William Cruz – and yet it wasn’t until Neesha turned to me with the biggest, most relieved smile on her face and said, “I couldn’t have done it without you!” that I started bawling. Through the tears coursing down my cheeks, I reassured her it was not me who had done it, it had been all her.

My make-up is 24 hours old, I hadn’t slept in 36 hours, and I have awkward hands, but I’ll always be grateful for this image of Neesha and I (and Will!) I’ll forever share a bond with this woman – and all the women with whom I get to experience labor, delivery, and the first moments of the life of their children! What an incredible journey she allowed me to be a part of.